That means exactly what it sounds like: giving up total control of what happens during a sexual session and allowing your partner to make all the decisions. “Let them take you in the direction that they believe will bring you the most joy,” Sparks explains.

There’s a lot of trust involved in this type of sexual play. You’re allowing your partner to decide everything about the sexual encounter: how you’ll move your body, what positions you’ll be in, when or whether you’ll orgasm, and even what the energy should be like between you. On your end, your only goal is to completely let go of any desire to control the outcome of the sexual session—don’t worry about pleasuring your partner, getting yourself off, being “good in bed,” or anything else—and just allow yourself to be totally present in the experience your partner is creating for you.

“When you give up your control and put trust in your partner, you are able to release your energy to them. This strengthens your connection,” Sparks explains.

In other words, the benefits are twofold: getting out of your head, paying more attention to the sensations in your body, and connecting more fully with your partner because you aren’t thinking about what you should be doing or trying to achieve any outcomes.

“So many of us love being ‘in control,’ and the thought of releasing that control can be challenging,” Sparks adds. “These practices require communication.”

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-relinquish-control-during-sex-for-more-connection